ON PSYCHOTIC WOMEN SURROUNDING MALE FRIENDS

Don't you just hate it when strangers especially women you just met put words with colorful fonts in your mouth?

Most psycho women do not appear to be psycho right away.  Often times, it takes many months before their true colors start to show.

November 5, 2011... I was in my happiest mood celebrating the one year that I got reunited with my childhood best friend after 30 years. We followed our other friends at a club in Makati and met a nice new woman who happened to be in our circle. The party went on and I felt the need to go to the restroom. She was there and I was grateful that she was there too because I needed a brush. We talked for a fleeting moment as I carried on with a few strokes on my hair but I was completely oblivious, I admit... of what we actually talked. My bad... I cant even remember what she said because I was just in a hurry to get back to my friends and watch over my childhood best friend who met new people for business. I thanked her though and told her I'll see her there at the table. 

The woman didn't interest me at all and so did all the other women. All I cared of that night was... I was having a good time with my male friends, I'm listening to music, dance and I was with my childhood best friend whom I'm watching like a hawk.

Two days later, one of my friends told me that the woman whom I later learned having a little sumthin' sumthin' with one of my guy friends who was also there last night said she overheard me say to someone (whoever that was) that "she's a hooker" which is the reason why she was giving my guy friend some hell that night and they left!

I was completely oblivious about everything that transpired that night! I was having a good time... I was in my best mood and I sure did not talk about hookers or whores to anyone that night! That bullshit created a rage I haven't experienced for over a decade... reminding me of my number one pet peeve... when people say I said or did things that I did not.

I checked this out with 2 friends and they confirmed I did not talk to them about hookers and/or whores at all. The rest of my friends... I did not even talk to them much too! The woman who did not even merit or gain my interest to get to know her that night finally got my attention and and so here I am still angry about the BS she created... wondering why she did that.

It brings me to one word... PSYCHO. Yeah... Psycho... that one word that says it all. It means completely she's completely nuts... doing actions with no thought about possible consequences and absolutely no rational thought. This type of women are often violent, they break things, they throw things, they scream and yell, they do outrageous things like vandalize your properties, embarrass you, harass you at work and they even threaten your new girlfriend and even a plain girl friend!

Does she hold your gun so good? According to studies, women who are psycho are often very good in bed. My lover should be happy with me! Thank God, I'm not that good in bed... just fair because I just love to cuddle more.

This type of women causes a little paranoia in me because these women are just plain crazy and there is nothing anyone can do to change them! They can do all sorts of things... they gather their female friends and gang up on clueless victims that they consider as threat to their lovers or boyfriends. I've seen it a lot of times and I feel bad for this woman (even if I hate that she used me for a dramatic plot).

I've been in deep thoughts and anger all day yesterday... she finally got my attention, got me paranoid to the point that I talked to my lawyer and considered putting a blotter on her and her "lover" to protect myself at all cost.

I protect myself, my family and my friends from any harm. I do not own a gun. I do not even know how to shoot. I only held these toy guns for a fun photography shoot but If my family, friends and my own life is threatened in anyway and in a situation that I need to save someone including myself... I just might not hesitate to get a gun, do my best aim and pull the trigger. 

My life has been so far great when it comes to relationships. I have never been a threat to anyone. I have never been with someone who happens to in a relationship with someone else. I take good care of my reputation and I keep my values intact for I have been brought up by really good parents. Although I am sometimes brutally honest with my opinions on people, I deal with it privately and never publicly. Well... to those who abused me and my friends though, I tend to make them famous online LOL... famous enough to realize they will one day need to hire and pay good  someone like me to remove all the publicity unleashed online!

To the friend who's with this psycho: Congratulations! You are, to me a punching bag for an emotionally unstable and weak-minded woman! I never said such about her! You stay away from me too! God knows what she will do to me when she sees me hanging out with you!

To the psycho who involved me:  I am no threat to you. You use me one more time for your acting capabilities, I will become a willing director... I will cast you and redirect your life in a film with plots you have never imagined! But I thank you... you taught me a valuable lesson in life.... that rumors are created and carried by psychotic haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots.

I was and still am, admittedly an idiot because this psycho merited a blog from me. Nuff said!

MORALITY AND VALUES: WHEN THEY LEFT YOU...

I'm basically going to talk about how parents taught us when we were kids, reflects the kind of person we are now as adults.

  
I'm no sinner nor saint... I'm just perhaps one of those that despite the bad elements that constantly surround us, I still stick to what I believe is good and is right, in general. At times, I find myself playing a role to people I know... making them realize that I may not be not a great example but a good warning to those on the verge of losing their moralities and values. 

Bad (not totally) versus bad can sometimes help for others to see what's up while maintaining tact and some respect. I hate that role but it seems that it has to be that way sometimes because I felt I owe it to my own parents.

  
Growing up as a kid, my parents instilled in my mind... morals and values that helped me become polite and respectful although there are times, I have to admit, that I lose it sometimes... especially when push comes to shove. However, my parents did let me know that integrity and trust can go a long way when it comes to good character. They modeled the behavior that they want us, their kids in the family to display... holding us accountable for our actions and value honesty and integrity. They instilled morals that I would say, assisted us to become men and women with strong characters.

Our parents taught us some valuable things in life that I won't ever forget and which I will instill in the minds of my own children someday. I'm very lucky to have such good parents and here are some things I've learned:

• That a person whom others trust and who does what he/she says do earn the respect of others by his actions... integrity and trust can really do come a long way.

• That winning isn't everything...  whether we lose or win a game, what matters most is that we understand the value of good sportsmanship.

• That we are accountable for our own actions.... unwise decisions and improper behavior have future consequences.

• That there are some things in life that can be addicting and has the potentials to take over our lives.

• That others take offense in foul languages.

• That money isn't everything that makes the world go round... It is greed and power... power corrupts peace and harmony.

• That there are some things in life that can't be bought and buy you real happiness... that superficial things can go away faster before you even realize it.

• That we should learn to hold dear what's worth it... like true friendships / relationships... know which one is real and which ones are the fair-weather-friends (people who are there when you have money or things that interest them but those who will not be there to pick you up when you fall).

• That either you get to be outsmarted or be the one to walk away from pathetic things or situations that will go nowhere.

• That unproductive people... people who got used in spoon-feeding... people who just wait for money to come easy and not working hard for it are just a waste of time, money and effort.

• That wealth acquired through an insecure lifestyle and that is marred by uncertainty, instability and excessive efforts is no wealth at all. 

• That it is easy to hate and it is difficult to love.... all good things are difficult to achieve and the bad things are easy to get... just as it is hard to let go of good things but easy to let go of the bad things.

• That we should learn to appreciate, be contented and be thankful for what we have... smiling at the little blessings we get each day. 

• That patience is a virtue.

• That the acts of this life will be the destiny of the next.

   
There are so many things that my parents instilled in my mind. Sometimes I break them, sometimes I don't or, I only realize it later on... which is still good than not having to remember them. I've been through a lot in my life but with what my parents taught me, I remain a good person as a whole. 

Today,  I get it really ...looking at other people how they waste their lives, I realized how important it is for parents to take some time to instill morality and values to the young.  

  
To sum this all up, my parents did raise me well. I have cheated on my fears.... I have broken up with my doubts and got engaged to my faith. Now, with my moralities and values intact, I'm going to marry my dreams.

To mommy and daddy.... I love you both and thank you! Thanks also to Cody, Maxine and Felisa for being such great models for this blog... including myself LOL! 

LIVING LIFE WITH PASSIONS IN 2011

I believe that to live a happy, fulfilled life, we need to recognize our own needs to feel connected to others in a deep and meaningful way.

My life in 2010 is about to end and a new one... a beautiful one will start in 2011. I want to live my life with my passions.

Living my passions will lead to fulfillment that will give my life more purpose, especially if it involves the people in my life. When our lives are fulfilled, it is difficult for any disease to manifest and thrive within. Our bodies will become engrossed in a positive feedback loop that thrives on the stimulation it is being fed. I will stick close to my passions, live by my own principles so I keep my health intact, improved and live longer a fulfilled life with the people I love.

I want to share the principles I have lived by that made me who and what I am to my family, friends and loved ones and these principles are what I intend to keep for my new life in 2011:

• I will live my life with my passions and make it my priority.
• I will look beyond my limitations.... finding things I still can do because it will help me find a way to live everyday with joy.
• I will never lose my sense of humor because there is absolutely nothing I can't laugh about. Laughter is still the best medicine.
• I will approach life again like I lived my life... with curiosity, courage and connections.
• I will open myself up to the mysterious.... as I don't have to be sure about everything.
• I will be fearless as always.... If I am to face death, I shall make it mean something and leave good footprints behind.
• I will keep in mind that if I am to say goodbye, it is saying hello to another awareness that could lead to contentment.
• I will appreciate life with it's ups and downs because my very existence is life to others.

 
My friends... I listen to my thoughts and emotions all the time. I use them as gauges to help me identify what things in my life are working for me and what isn't resonating. I strive to be on the right track, making me feel blissful and contented with the little blessings I get everyday. If there are days and situations that will bring me down and suck the life out of me, I will be making adjustments in my life so that I will move more towards a happier state of mind.

Live life with your passions and principles too, my friends... life is way too short...really! Here's to a beautiful 2011.... Happy New Year to all!!! :))

WHEN OPPORTUNITIES TO STRIKE IT RICH INTERFERES WITH MY HAPPINESS

Don't you just hate it when real life interferes with our happiness? Decisions become very, very tough. You know what I'm talking about.... taking into account of your current happy situation and comparing it to the possibility of something unknown but you know you will be happy there too. It's enough to make one's head swim! 

Whenever I am torn between things especially ones that involve money, I always remember what my daddy used to tell me... "Stop living for tomorrows that may never come and start living for today but keep in mind, money isn't everything."

There were many instances in my life that I had to make the choice to go with the money and I had to constantly battle my way up the corporate ladder only to find that an honest worker like me would wish the competition would die suddenly and/or that she gets diseases so she will stop screwing every single client she has + including mine to get the account and beat me on my own marketing skills. Eventually I gave up realizing it wasn't the world that I was meant to be in.

I wasn't living paycheck to paycheck back then but I never had a peace of mind even if the money that I was working for, meant to have the things I wanted in life... a home for family, a home to raise a child in, a decent car with driver and no monetary problems. Everything just didn't feel right and that's when I somehow realized what daddy meant. 

Thinking now about some friends who made their dreams...

One female friend offshore finds it having a ball with getting all the grand material things she ever wanted in life only to realize in the end she has a thousand of friends who are actually strangers because she lost all her real friends back then because of her vanity along the way. She is still searching for her own happiness.

Three male friends who made it rich than they could ever imagine finds themselves desiring, wanting and marrying young, beautiful women... women who would love them for their money. Two of them got cheated upon by their wives while they were away and the other one's wife leaped off their building because she thought she'd had a calling that she could actually fly on her own... and she did but straight down (oh, drugs!). These men developed a penchant for fakes and got the hang of it till now. Trophy wives... trophy girlfriends... what's the real trophy to be bragged about here? Fast forward... Hugh Hefner in the making but would there actually be real women in their lives to truly take care of them when they are sick and old? Think about the word... escrow!

One male friend moved away from his country, got a great job, got married out of loneliness in a strange country and is still stuck with a wife who's more than a stranger from the beginning of their relationship.

One female friend strike it rich and came back buying handsome men... literally for their love that she ended up not finding true love and is still very much alone. She aged big time for her actual age. 

Another male friend who did good in life became similar to the three guys I mentioned earlier. Desiring, wanting and buying bimbos. Every single "hottie" seems to have a price tag in his eyes to the point of buying them grand things for their attention and for meaningless sex. Pathetic... he can't seem to realize that there are a little-lesser-endowed women out there who can actually love him for what he is and not for what he has.

Two female friends somehow made it offshore after so many years and came back to their families with their own children growing up to be total strangers to them. 

I needed to think about these friends because sure... money can bring happiness to the table... money can get me anything tempting... money can secure me and my kid a great future... but if it all entails me to go further away to a strange land, be alone, work for richness, letting go of what I want to do for the rest of my life and not seeing much of my kid grow (as if it is not already enough that he is an hour's flight away from me) then I would have to say "no". 

I know I got one heck of a choice ahead of me and that I pray that I can find peace in the road that I choose to take. I know that either way, they are good choices for me but the thing is, I know what I want in life. I know what I can do. I am a simple, funny, happy and contented woman who finds peace in everything that I do. Money isn't everything.

Writing this reminded me of what daddy said and now I see both ends of the spectrum. Yes... I am now making my choice... a choice which my heart is telling me it is the right one for now.

For my two great friends and bosses, Ed & H... I am staying.... for there are far more valuable things here in my life that money can never buy and that includes your friendship, faith, trust and confidence in me! Let's roll!!!

For Christine... let's do what we discussed yesterday and let's roll too!!!

To TimeinManila... It's time!!! 

To Cody... I may not be able to give you everything you want in life but this decision is all for you. I love you with my all life!!!

To daddy in heaven... you raised me well... Thank you... I miss you and I love you!!!

LOCKED UP ON EMOTIONAL PRISONS

There are times we yearn for more intimacy in our lives yet, we aren't really certain how to get what we want that sometimes, just when we get to be close to getting what we desire, we build walls.



I had a good discussion about this with my cousin last night about his being vulnerable in the past and building walls. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is dangerous as being one implies we might get hurt. No one wants to get hurt or to hurt another.

What is intimacy? It's a step towards a possible relationship because a relationship without intimacy is not a relationship. It's what you call "friendship".

With this, we talked about who builds walls more... the men or women. My cousin built walls and I built my own walls too. However, for me, it's the men. As children, girls wail about physical pain and they're allowed to do so while the boys brought up to think it is not manly to show the pain. This caused little boys not talking about their feelings. They grow into men with an emotional vocabulary less developed than that of the women.

Men in general often have trouble naming exactly what they feel and often more vague in describing emotions. I remember an ex-boyfriend who would often be anxious when the whole topic of emotions are being brought up while I was more comfortable talking about almost anything else!

Some men talk about feelings as if they live in fortresses with walls as high as The Great Wall of China! A few were allowed to walk in but these are the ones closest to them. Although they felt safe within the confinements they built, they feel as if there is essentially no one with whom they can truly be themselves... which is really sad. Some men i know including my cousin overcame and break down their own walls because they realized it gets too be too lonely.

So many of us confuse thoughts and feelings. Feelings are words, not explanations. We all live in a time when depression is rampant in our time. Depression isn't always feeling sad. Depression is at times, just feeling numb or very little thus; we build walls which is not good.



Defenses though aren't bad. Without these, we would be vulnerable and some experiences can be very painful. If our shield is always up, we should always think not just with our thoughts but feel our feelings. When we yearn for intimacy, we need to acknowledge our feelings. When something happens, we take a deep look on it for we never know if what we are feeling is actually more than one feeling.

I keep my defenses up all the time but there are instances that I lower them to find out what could actually be because I don't want that one day, I'll forever wonder what could have been, what should have been and what might have been with a particular person or situation. After all, everything is a risk and pain... we just gotta let it ride out or we wouldn't feel human at all!



Life is just way too short to worry about so many things!

Thanks to Vincent Garrucho for my own photos :))