IN AND OUT, IN AND OUT...

We all fall in and out of relationships especially now in the era of technology. Gone were the teenage ideals, hopes and dreams of meeting just that one true love. Relationships are like buying cars nowadays... you gotta test drive first before actually getting them. Sounds cruel but that's how it is now.

As I read through my Facebook newsfeed yesterday, I can that many of my friends are going through so much drama about relationships. Whether they be family, friends, business and love relationships, the ranting on Facebook was just so much. One girl friend is going through a very toxic relationship lately and has discovered that the currently love of her life is cheating on her. A gay friend had an amorous bedroom affair with his lover for months, thinks that they have a love thing going on yet, he expresses that he finds himself feeling empty. A male friend just got out of a relationship lately, got into a relationship with a new one yet finding himself missing the old flame. Another girl friend talked about how blatantly her foreign boyfriend is making her feel insecure about herself. 

Toxic relationships. Shady relationships. We all go through or went through with that leaving us weak, confused and punctured. I chatted with these friends of mine to offer some kind of help and they revealed one common thing... they are going through the same kind of relationships over and over again. The psychological impact of bad relationships on us is just amazingly big and when we do get over them, we seem to be lured again into the same type of relationships. Maybe us humans are wired that way... that we keep on feeling powerless and get trapped in something we do don't want to be in. However, there are some of us who are really strong about things inspiring me to come up with possible ways to feel good about ourselves as we improve on handling relationships:

1. DON'T RUSH...

The Dating Stage
Relationships need not be rushed. We need to relax and just enjoy the moments spent with someone we fancy or we are dating . Just because life is hectic, it doesn't mean we have to rush ourselves nor others at all into something. We take time to know them more, take time to cherish the giddy side of dating, take time to discover the little pleasures of a mere glance or smile we get from them when we see them. Keep in mind that we all got our own lives too.

The First Intimacy Stage
At that very moment the act of intimacy happens, just keep enjoying it. No rush. Enjoy that first intimate things with someone. Linger on kisses, necking, petting and all those groping stuff. They are all fun especially when things go further.

The Falling Stage
Sometimes reality has its' way of biting us in the ass and there strikes many fears inside us. Fear of whether the thing going on will last or not, fear of the other person not really loving you back, fear if you really love that person and so many others things we do feel when we are starting to fall.  Although it's normal to start thinking of things we dread in life, just go with the flow. Sometimes it pays to through caution to the wind.

2. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH
Over-thinking complicates budding relationships. While it is normal to feel scared, insecure, doubtful and off-center with the people we like, it is not helping the relationship at all because we tend to doubt it as a whole.

3. MAKE AN EFFORT TO COMMUNICATE
Yes, life can sometimes be cruel enough to push the other one away so make an effort to communicate. Building relationships require a lot of work and communication is the key but don't nag too much though. Remember, all relationships should have freedom.

4. LOVE YOURSELF MORE
There is something about loving yourself that makes you attractive to the opposite sex. Stop dealing with the past, don't compare your current flame to your old one and accepting the NOW are one of the things that can build relationships.

If you still feel insecure, powerless or you sense that you are trapped in a relationship or a budding one, then there is no relationship. The relationship doesn't exist at all. It takes a solid team work for both and a free will on your part to run any kind of relationships while keeping in mind that the endeavor needs freedom too. 

In, out, in out... that's the way love goes for everyone of us. In order to stay in, we just have to do our best to continue to build or keep a relationship if it is all worth our life's journey. And oh! Getting hurt eventually is part of it so just relax. For me, every relationship we encounter is worth the experience. It makes us feel we are alive! Fall in love! If it falls out, so what? It is then we move on. There are always reasons beyond us why things didn't work and it is always for the better. ;-) 

FEELING WHAT I WANT

There are times in my life that I get sad, unhappy and depressed. Things go wrong and I couldn't help it. These emotions however, always help me live through life and these makes me feel eventually, what I want my life to be.

Before you go on reading, let me amuse you with this great dance video to set you in the mood as you read along....



But what is it that we usually do or should do whenever we are suffering from these emotions?

I've enumerated below things I do whenever I am sad, unhappy and depressed which might be of help to you just in case you fall into such condition...


I Dance, I Exercise 
Getting into an activity that requires me to sweat is the most effective method of feeling better right away. I just either play a dance music and dance into it or I go outside and just start running. It doesn't matter how fast I ran or how far I ran for as long as I get my heart pumping and my blood flowing. It works wonders as sweating releases endorphins that makes me feel better especially if I do these under sunlight and fresh air. When I'm done with these, I always find myself catching my breath that nothing else seems to matter. Yes, there is something about struggling for air that makes all troubles seem very trivial.

I Laugh
Although it's not always easy to laugh when I can't find something funny, I just look for it further. Life has so many things to offer there is absolutely nothing that we can't laugh about. Laughing releases endorphins, it makes me feel better and it relaxes me.

I Reminisce
I think of good old memories.... I think of moments when I was truly happy. I spend at the end of each day recalling good memories I have that before I know it, I start relating everything to those happy times. What happens to my sad memories? They end up being a vague recollection of the past.

I Do The Things I Love
As I do the many things that I love about in life like singing, dancing, swimming, doing sports activities, writing, travelling, taking photos etc.... I take them all in and really appreciate it because it makes me feel great and alive. 

I Pick Happy Friends
Having a lot of naturally happy friends work wonders! They make me happy randomly over the long term, I start to learn why they are happy and learn the source of happiness for myself, they have happy friends also and so I get to meet even more happy people and they introduce me to activities that make them happy! I pick happy, smiling people... and I hang out with them on a regular basis because happiness is infectious! 

Life sends various negative emotions to me at times but when I want to feel what I really want, I throw caution to the wind and let go of it all because there is always a spectacular side over negative ones!  


Thanks to Vincent Garrucho for my party images here at Time in Manila.

ON HAPPINESS IN SAVING LIVES!

In the pursuit of contentment, choosing the right career has always been my priority... Marketing. However, I made bad calls on a few companies I worked for and even made bad calls for business investments. I worked at a few companies with eight-to-ten-hour jobs that were very monotonous and tiring. I completed my work like a machine. At some of these companies and business ventures, I was one of those people who weren't allowed explore their real interests thus; I had a series of tendencies to get lost in a lifetime of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Now, believe I did choose the right career and I found myself in a great company, Airgurus Ltd. Co., the leading helicopter / aircraft charter and air ambulance provider in the Philippines! Why do I say great? This snapshot of a Facebook post below is one of the reasons why:

Marco L. Santos is the Operations Manager Cruise Director at Worldwide Dive and Sail

Marco L. Santos thanked us at Airgurus for the medical evacuation of diver, Victoria Sant from Kalibo, Philippines last January 2011. Victoria had a heart attack after a dive, requiring her for an immediate medical evacuation via one of Airgurus' medically-souped up helicopters upon getting stabilized on board the Philippine Siren. The dive crew brought her to Libertad, Antique and then on to Kalibo for pick-up by Airgurus' chopper. Marco called Capt. Harry Harvey Lero immediately to find a way to extract his guest diver, Victoria Sant fast after her accident. Victoria Sant made it to Makati Medical Center and eventually went home to her country with a new lease in life.

This makes me feel so good about what I'm doing now.  Knowing about good results of majority of our medical evacuations and getting compliments... make me feel so proud that I am part of Airgurus Ltd. Co. 

I call myself The Architect in the company... unraveling the dream within this dream- come-true project... the key person who constructs the dream and web world inside the mind of the Dreamer.

Contracted by Capt. Lero for a specific job position: to manufacture a world of dreams...making it visible and known everywhere and making it a reality. I am propelled by my intellectual curiosity which made me unable to pull myself away from such a unique opportunity of saving lives in the Philippines. The naturally curious and creative person in the great  team, my totem is the acacia tree in front of Airgurus hangar. :P

Little did I know that seeing my childhood best friend, Capt. Harry Harvey Lero, (President and Chief Pilot of Airgurus Ltd. Co. and now also my business partner in Cyberbees Ltd. Co.) after almost 3 decades, would pave way for me to enjoy the best marketing career I've ever had in 12 years. 

Next to his father, Capt. Harry Lero is the best highly-skilled pilot in the Philippines... the absolute best in the art of life extraction by air even when the weather is at its' most vulnerable.

The Extractor is the one who extracts people from life threatening situations... delivering them through their golden hours to a second chance in life. He is the Master Planner... the Dreamer... the dreamer of saving lives.

Capt. Lero and I studied nursing but neither of us ended up being one. He became a pilot just like his childhood dream and I got myself into Marketing fulfilling my dream of being a writer. Now, we're both in pursuit of our real and bigger ambitions... involved in a company of saving human lives! 

With Airgurus Ltd. Co., my world became bigger and better.... primarily enriched by saving lives!

Thank you, HH... for sharing your dreams with me. I'm xtremely proud and grateful that our paths crossed again! :-)

THE TRIBUTE TO GOLD DIGGERS

Inspired by the witty comments of cousins and friends on my Facebook status today, I'd like to shed some light on this subject for the men folk out there. 

It's a well-known fact that men and women are predisposed to gender-based pattern of thinking and as a result, we analyze process and perceive life differently. Perhaps, we are simply wired that way from birth yet, we tend to forget of or see the facts that are laid out right there and clearly visible before our very own eyes.

Although I cannot speak for all women as I am a woman myself, I feel I am qualified to speak on behalf of at least most women. In general, women are disgusted of the gold diggers! Their ways screw up the good men folk's mentality! Not all women are gold diggers and that there are women in this world that are far more worth it because they know what contentment in life is, their values are intact and  most of all, self-respect is evident to the core.

Before you read on to know more about the gold diggers, press play the video to enjoy as you read on...

To know more about the gold diggers and their ways, hereunder is a list of sarcastic but true summarized quotes of the gold digger's dark and funny ways in life:

1. As far as men are concerned forever... she can take them or leave them and after she takes them she leaves them.

2. She has forever a million-dollar smile.... She only smiles at guys with million dollars.
 

3. Her forever motto is: Dough or die.

4. Her forever type in men: The only man she'll go ever out with is... the one who is tall, forget the skin color and has some.

5. Her forever spelling on "Matrimony".... Matter-o-money!

6. The only love nest she'll be forever interested in is an eight-room apartment / house feathered with cash down.
  
7. She will always and forever be ready to go out for a little fund.

8. She will forever not mind whose means she lives beyond... won't chop her own wood to keep her warm twice!

9. It's not too hard to find her... Just open your wallet, and there she is!

10. Her forever motto is: Think-Mink.

11. There's a possibility that she may get married someday... She's just waiting for the right amount to come along.

12. Her forever opinion about a man: He does have to be much, if he has much.

13. All she will forever look for in a man is... any eye color and green money.

14. She will forever bring out the animal in men... Mink.

  
15. Her forever thoughts on physical fitness: It doesn't matter. What she forever looks for in a man is fiscal fitness.

16. She will forever know how to stay in the mink of condition.

17. Her forever hobby aside from top of the line limited stuff is collecting romantic antiques... the rich old geezers.

18. She forever gets her men by using her come-on-sense.

19. She forever measures a man's love by the carat.

20. She forever dresses on credit but... she will only undress for cash.

21. Her forever zodiac sign:  A human gimme pig.

22. The royalty of all gold diggers will never sell herself for cash...  she takes stocks, bonds, checks, gold bars and shares in oil wells.

23. She will always marry a guy for money.... and divorce him for the same reason.

24. She loves everything about her country... the people of her country... the songs of her country and most especially, the banks of her country! 

 
There is absolutely nothing wrong about the word "more"... and wanting it. Don't get me wrong... I understand practicality in life! I'm a fan of these gold diggers.. in fact, I love them! They are fascinating creatures... they stand out yet people around them can't seem to say they are despicable. They are so angelic, charming, tolerable, encouraging and clever but...  it's the too much greed and too vulgar ways that says it all!

Although I am thankful that I have no friends who are like that and were for once in their lives were silently called gold diggers by the others, I can't help but wonder how life is...  if I am associated with the gold diggers. I believe that should earn me the heart of gold award! 

Ah, well... to gold diggers... you rock!!! Your mysterious and fascinating lives earned you a tribute in my blog spot! :-) Keep digging for gold till you find out that the best things in life has nothing to do with money and contentment in life is what will make your lonely lives happy!

MORALITY AND VALUES: WHEN THEY LEFT YOU...

I'm basically going to talk about how parents taught us when we were kids, reflects the kind of person we are now as adults.

  
I'm no sinner nor saint... I'm just perhaps one of those that despite the bad elements that constantly surround us, I still stick to what I believe is good and is right, in general. At times, I find myself playing a role to people I know... making them realize that I may not be not a great example but a good warning to those on the verge of losing their moralities and values. 

Bad (not totally) versus bad can sometimes help for others to see what's up while maintaining tact and some respect. I hate that role but it seems that it has to be that way sometimes because I felt I owe it to my own parents.

  
Growing up as a kid, my parents instilled in my mind... morals and values that helped me become polite and respectful although there are times, I have to admit, that I lose it sometimes... especially when push comes to shove. However, my parents did let me know that integrity and trust can go a long way when it comes to good character. They modeled the behavior that they want us, their kids in the family to display... holding us accountable for our actions and value honesty and integrity. They instilled morals that I would say, assisted us to become men and women with strong characters.

Our parents taught us some valuable things in life that I won't ever forget and which I will instill in the minds of my own children someday. I'm very lucky to have such good parents and here are some things I've learned:

• That a person whom others trust and who does what he/she says do earn the respect of others by his actions... integrity and trust can really do come a long way.

• That winning isn't everything...  whether we lose or win a game, what matters most is that we understand the value of good sportsmanship.

• That we are accountable for our own actions.... unwise decisions and improper behavior have future consequences.

• That there are some things in life that can be addicting and has the potentials to take over our lives.

• That others take offense in foul languages.

• That money isn't everything that makes the world go round... It is greed and power... power corrupts peace and harmony.

• That there are some things in life that can't be bought and buy you real happiness... that superficial things can go away faster before you even realize it.

• That we should learn to hold dear what's worth it... like true friendships / relationships... know which one is real and which ones are the fair-weather-friends (people who are there when you have money or things that interest them but those who will not be there to pick you up when you fall).

• That either you get to be outsmarted or be the one to walk away from pathetic things or situations that will go nowhere.

• That unproductive people... people who got used in spoon-feeding... people who just wait for money to come easy and not working hard for it are just a waste of time, money and effort.

• That wealth acquired through an insecure lifestyle and that is marred by uncertainty, instability and excessive efforts is no wealth at all. 

• That it is easy to hate and it is difficult to love.... all good things are difficult to achieve and the bad things are easy to get... just as it is hard to let go of good things but easy to let go of the bad things.

• That we should learn to appreciate, be contented and be thankful for what we have... smiling at the little blessings we get each day. 

• That patience is a virtue.

• That the acts of this life will be the destiny of the next.

   
There are so many things that my parents instilled in my mind. Sometimes I break them, sometimes I don't or, I only realize it later on... which is still good than not having to remember them. I've been through a lot in my life but with what my parents taught me, I remain a good person as a whole. 

Today,  I get it really ...looking at other people how they waste their lives, I realized how important it is for parents to take some time to instill morality and values to the young.  

  
To sum this all up, my parents did raise me well. I have cheated on my fears.... I have broken up with my doubts and got engaged to my faith. Now, with my moralities and values intact, I'm going to marry my dreams.

To mommy and daddy.... I love you both and thank you! Thanks also to Cody, Maxine and Felisa for being such great models for this blog... including myself LOL! 

WHEN OPPORTUNITIES TO STRIKE IT RICH INTERFERES WITH MY HAPPINESS

Don't you just hate it when real life interferes with our happiness? Decisions become very, very tough. You know what I'm talking about.... taking into account of your current happy situation and comparing it to the possibility of something unknown but you know you will be happy there too. It's enough to make one's head swim! 

Whenever I am torn between things especially ones that involve money, I always remember what my daddy used to tell me... "Stop living for tomorrows that may never come and start living for today but keep in mind, money isn't everything."

There were many instances in my life that I had to make the choice to go with the money and I had to constantly battle my way up the corporate ladder only to find that an honest worker like me would wish the competition would die suddenly and/or that she gets diseases so she will stop screwing every single client she has + including mine to get the account and beat me on my own marketing skills. Eventually I gave up realizing it wasn't the world that I was meant to be in.

I wasn't living paycheck to paycheck back then but I never had a peace of mind even if the money that I was working for, meant to have the things I wanted in life... a home for family, a home to raise a child in, a decent car with driver and no monetary problems. Everything just didn't feel right and that's when I somehow realized what daddy meant. 

Thinking now about some friends who made their dreams...

One female friend offshore finds it having a ball with getting all the grand material things she ever wanted in life only to realize in the end she has a thousand of friends who are actually strangers because she lost all her real friends back then because of her vanity along the way. She is still searching for her own happiness.

Three male friends who made it rich than they could ever imagine finds themselves desiring, wanting and marrying young, beautiful women... women who would love them for their money. Two of them got cheated upon by their wives while they were away and the other one's wife leaped off their building because she thought she'd had a calling that she could actually fly on her own... and she did but straight down (oh, drugs!). These men developed a penchant for fakes and got the hang of it till now. Trophy wives... trophy girlfriends... what's the real trophy to be bragged about here? Fast forward... Hugh Hefner in the making but would there actually be real women in their lives to truly take care of them when they are sick and old? Think about the word... escrow!

One male friend moved away from his country, got a great job, got married out of loneliness in a strange country and is still stuck with a wife who's more than a stranger from the beginning of their relationship.

One female friend strike it rich and came back buying handsome men... literally for their love that she ended up not finding true love and is still very much alone. She aged big time for her actual age. 

Another male friend who did good in life became similar to the three guys I mentioned earlier. Desiring, wanting and buying bimbos. Every single "hottie" seems to have a price tag in his eyes to the point of buying them grand things for their attention and for meaningless sex. Pathetic... he can't seem to realize that there are a little-lesser-endowed women out there who can actually love him for what he is and not for what he has.

Two female friends somehow made it offshore after so many years and came back to their families with their own children growing up to be total strangers to them. 

I needed to think about these friends because sure... money can bring happiness to the table... money can get me anything tempting... money can secure me and my kid a great future... but if it all entails me to go further away to a strange land, be alone, work for richness, letting go of what I want to do for the rest of my life and not seeing much of my kid grow (as if it is not already enough that he is an hour's flight away from me) then I would have to say "no". 

I know I got one heck of a choice ahead of me and that I pray that I can find peace in the road that I choose to take. I know that either way, they are good choices for me but the thing is, I know what I want in life. I know what I can do. I am a simple, funny, happy and contented woman who finds peace in everything that I do. Money isn't everything.

Writing this reminded me of what daddy said and now I see both ends of the spectrum. Yes... I am now making my choice... a choice which my heart is telling me it is the right one for now.

For my two great friends and bosses, Ed & H... I am staying.... for there are far more valuable things here in my life that money can never buy and that includes your friendship, faith, trust and confidence in me! Let's roll!!!

For Christine... let's do what we discussed yesterday and let's roll too!!!

To TimeinManila... It's time!!! 

To Cody... I may not be able to give you everything you want in life but this decision is all for you. I love you with my all life!!!

To daddy in heaven... you raised me well... Thank you... I miss you and I love you!!!

CHRISTMAS STRESS & HOLIDAY BLUES

Good and bad stress usually takes its' toll on us humans especially during Christmas Season. I've had good Christmases in the past but this year, even if it's A-okay for me, I can't help but think globally... I think of people all over the world... how Christmas 2010 will be for them. I believe for most, December 2010 is full of stress and depression.

I made a survey on a couple of friends from off-shore and in the Philippines as to what would be the usual and most common causes why we get Christmas blues, depressions and / or stress.  Hereunder are what I perceived based on my little survey as well as my own experience in the following order (top to bottom):

1.  Economic / Financial Difficulties
This is number 1. With the global economic crisis hitting major countries world-wide, millions of families face financial problems this season of love and giving. Christmas adds an extra burden to tight budgets which means, there's not enough money to buy food for the festive season, presents and clothes for Christmas. People around the world actually tend to use more money than we can afford which worsens our financial situations even more. This leads us to gain more weight, headaches, depressions and financial overdrafts after the season is over.
 
2. The Absence of a Loved One
Despite of the merry-making with family and friends, we can't help thinking of some beloved persons in our lives who are far away which brings us loneliness and depression. Even when we see everyone else having a good time, we just couldn't help but feel the pang of yearning, missing them thus; this situation can get worse. 

3. Physical Fatigue
We usually get intense stress everywhere that we tend to feel there are so many things to do in such a period of time. Even though we try to make activities pleasant and enjoyable for others, various situations can take its' toll on our bodies i.e., Christmas rush, traffic, shopping amongst millions, the inability to find the apt gifts for loved ones, presence in social parties and other obligations. 


All top 3 reasons bring emotional disorder to each and everyone of us. I, for one, am starting to feel it and so I believe that it is very important to acknowledge these reasons why people tend to be stressed out and depressed during the holidays because all it takes for each individual to survive Christmas stress is love and understanding. 

Emotional support... patience, love and understanding from our families and loved-ones can help fight depression and stress during the holidays.

Life and things in life are not  perfect... it is not as beautiful as seen on TV and movies. We shouldn't expect too much from it. Life is simply unpredictable that the only way to make us happy is focus on things that are most important to us and live each day thinking positive for a better future. Breaking free from the past.... preparing for better years to come is all that I'm going to think of this holiday season 2010.


May I remind everyone that in the past, we made Christmas too materialized.... it's not about the money... it's all about the time and thoughts spent with family, friends and loved-ones that matters most to them. Cheers! 

I'd like to say advance Merry Christmas to all my readers just in case I forget to do so later on! :)

AN ADULT'S SPECTACULAR LIFE

Perhaps, we're not supposed to be happy. Perhaps, gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Perhaps being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is.



Perhaps, we should start appreciating the small victories we get in life... admiring the struggle it takes simply, to be human. Perhaps we should be thankful for the familiar things we know and maybe we should be thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate, isn't it?



At some point in our lives, we need to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence us in. Life can be messy but that's how we're made.

It's either we waste our lives drawing lines or we live our lives crossing them. But then, there are some lines that are way too dangerous for us to cross.



Here's what I know though... If we are just willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular.



Photography by: Vincent Garrucho
Model: Rachel Lobangco
Thank you, Vince and Rachel... for letting me post your fabulous photos here. :))