LIFE IN SILENCE

Eight months ago on this very same day of the month (February 20, 2011), I sat on a bench with a Filipina woman who was all quiet at the beginning... staring at the garden view in front of us.  

I remember she had that very sad, blank look in her eyes as she held on a crumpled piece of paper while hugging her dark blue bag. After awhile, I hear her sobbing... then she cried hard. Rocking back and forth, tears continuously flowed down her face as she just stared out blankly... I could again feel her pain...  maybe someone died back home... maybe someone is dying... maybe she is dying... The paper obviously indicated a horrible news to her. I wanted to talk to her... to console her... I felt she needed it yet, I also felt she needed to be alone.

It took awhile for her to stop crying... there were moments she took out her mobile phone several times... attempted to dial but then she would stop. I felt that she wanted to talk to somebody dear to her but held back. It was then I see that she was gathering her strength. 

She was oblivious of any other people around her. Amazingly, no one ever bothered her. She took out a cigarette from her bag and lit it. After a few puffs, she unfolded neatly the crumpled paper... lit her lighter and burned the paper as she again, cried softly. The remnants of the burnt paper fell on the ground as the last part of it continued to burn till she stepped on it.

She sat there mostly crying... clutching her heart and then she would stopped crying... rocking back and forth she would resume to sobbing... then stopped sobbing. For perhaps after 2 hours, she finally stood up... stretched her body in full... breathed the air... picked up her bag and walked away.

Re-visiting today... I sit on this bench... took out my laptop to compose this. I can clearly remember how it was that day. It was a haunting memory... one that lingered in my mind for a long time as I have felt her pain... her burden.

I have to shut this down in a bit as I am an hour away from my appointment and I just caught a splinter... I have to remove it. As I look at the splinter while tapping my fingers on the keyboard, I remember that sad woman... a tear fell from my own eyes... my splinter is nothing in comparison to the splinter she carried in her heart back then.  Realizing that, she taught me a big lesson in life... that we shouldn't dwell on the past or worry about the future for too long no matter how painful nor hard life may be. She taught me in silence that right now is life... we have to face it and live it.

The haunting scene eight months ago at this very day... February 20, 2011... I sat on this bench and I saw a chance at life.

WHEN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS END

It's Christmas Season and I feel a little sad for a male friend who recently ended his relationship with his partner. 

  
They have been together for a long time which brings me to ask my friend.. "Why do you think good things never last?". He answered, "I don't know." and that's when I had to tell him, "Some good things in this life never last because maybe those good things could become better or meant to be better to last in a different way.".  

In his grief, my friend managed to smile with what I said. He realizes that it's the not the end... but actually, the beginning of something better.

A long term relationships takes time to get over and to move on especially, if true love was experienced.  With positive thinking however, the process of healing is guaranteed to be faster and not that it would take as long as the duration of the long term relationship. 

It may be difficult from the beginning but it's natural... that's why we all grieve. Grieving over the loss of a relationship will help us move on and think positive in the long run.  Suppressing is only going to make it more difficult. For every end of a long term relationship whether it be with a friend, a lover, spouse, etc., we should all cry over it. After all, we not only shared good times with them but bad ones too that prepared us to become stronger...for the end of it. 

Related blog - IT IS DEFINITELY GOOD TO CRY 

IT IS DEFINITELY GOOD TO CRY

When life becomes too harsh or too good enough to make me cry, I succumb... I whimper and I cry hard. 

I would shed my tears all out... knowing that if I cry my heart out, I'll be better the next days... shedding tears make me tougher and stronger because after each and every cry, I feel cleansed... like my heart and mind consoled each other to feel better.  William Shakespeare once said, "To weep is to make less the depth of grief." and I truly believe it does.

Is crying good for us? Here are some of the 5 reasons why I believe, people should cry once in awhile...

• Crying is cathartic... It's purifying and a very good therapeutic technique to release emotions and stress we endure.
• Crying build relationships... When we cry with friends around, the bond becomes stronger. I myself am astounded by the resounding support of my friends and the level of intimacy exchanged among us. Crying simply forms communication and connection... bringing us closer to people in our lives.
• Crying cleanses our eyes... tears lubricate our eyeballs and eyelids which helps our eyes avoid dehydration. When our eyes our not lubricated well enough, we can't see things clearly, right?
• Crying manages stress...It relieves us of tension, reduces blood pressure and removes chemicals that are built up in our bodies due to stress like endorphins, prolactin and many more.
• Crying helps kill bacteria... Say goodbye to wet wipes! Our tears contain lysozyme! Tears can kill 90 - 95% of bacteria in just a few minutes! 

Crying is not a negative thing as other people perceive it to be because it has a lot of benefits in awaiting for us. Some people control themselves from crying thinking that they can be tough, look tough in the eyes of others but no... it just adds up worries. Suppressing a cry is bad. 

Shedding a tear or two relieves us from worries, stress, etc. It is just normal for us to cry and crying is not being weak. Not only does it make us feel we co-exist with others, it just simply proves we are human.