As a child grows, the imagination flies as it develops. They start to imagine that there are things behind things...imagining creatures of all sorts lurking and hiding in the dark. This, frights them to the core.
Kids tend to imagine what consists of a mere shadow in the dark... objects that may turn into frightening shapes and sizes that they would perceive as reaching out for them.
We are all afraid of the dark sometime in our lives. With some of us, this fear of darkness persists like when we sleep in strange places... we get anxiety attacks when lights go off.
This issue is perhaps one of the biggest that I've overcome as I was growing up. My yaya, my brothers, my friends used to frighten me with strange creatures in the dark and because I am one with a very imaginative brain, I have been afraid of the dark.
Now a mature adult, I based this blog out of my own experience as a child. So how do we deal with children needing understanding, love and support when bedroom lights are about to be turned off? Here are seven (7) important things that will surely help:
1. Respect a child's thoughts...
Listen to a child. Listen to his/her troubles, concerns, fears. This may seem as a big effort for parents but little do we know that we are actually encouraging them to emotionally open up and this will greatly help in child-parent relationship. Take time to let them talk about their fears. Understanding, respecting and guidance is a must to overcome fear of darkness.
2. The fear is real...
Never tease a child or berate him/her for being afraid of the dark. Do not also allow other kids and siblings to do so.
3. Never leave child in the dark without love...
Forcing him/her to face fears in the dark alone in a room may lead to an unhealthy phobia and this will be perceived by the child as a traumatizing experience.
4. Let some light shine on...
Provide special bedroom lamps with stars, sun, clouds, moon, hearts and good fantasy shapes that comes out of it. Give a child his/her own beside flashlight that automatically turns off when left too long. The latter will especially come in handy in case of black-outs.
5. Decorate the child's room with love...
It doesn't have to be expensive. Providing glow in the dark shapes like planets, moon and stars actually makes them feel secured.
6. Leave hugs...
Aside from kissing and hugging a child just right before he/she sleeps, give them cuddly stuffed toys. Stuffed toys provide comfort just the same as really soft blankets and pillows. You may even want to broaden their imagination by leaving a small bedside pouch that "contains" supernatural powers (tiny glittery star dusts inside) to "drive" evil away. This is a good time to make a child realize that there are good things in life to keep them safe.
7. Take time with bedtime stories...
A time a day to tell stories, give cuddles, sing songs / lullabies is best to comfort children. It gives them a sense of being protected from any harm beyond their imaginations.
To sum this all up, the attention, support, guidance and love from grown ups are actually what the children needs to overcome the fear of darkness and this helps in establishing a long-lasting positive relationship with them.
Thanks to Vincent and Izzy Garrucho for the photo.