CONQUERING A CHILD'S FEAR OF DARKNESS

Children especially the during the toddler days, are afraid of the dark. This is what we grown-ups call as Nyctophobia. This is a normal anxiety on kids that can turn into a wild phobia if not lovingly dealt with by the parent.



As a child grows, the imagination flies as it develops. They start to imagine that there are things behind things...imagining creatures of all sorts lurking and hiding in the dark. This, frights them to the core.

Kids tend to imagine what consists of a mere shadow in the dark... objects that may turn into frightening shapes and sizes that they would perceive as reaching out for them.

We are all afraid of the dark sometime in our lives. With some of us, this fear of darkness persists like when we sleep in strange places... we get anxiety attacks when lights go off.

This issue is perhaps one of the biggest that I've overcome as I was growing up. My yaya, my brothers, my friends used to frighten me with strange creatures in the dark and because I am one with a very imaginative brain, I have been afraid of the dark.



Now a mature adult, I based this blog out of my own experience as a child. So how do we deal with children needing understanding, love and support when bedroom lights are about to be turned off? Here are seven (7) important things that will surely help:

1. Respect a child's thoughts...
Listen to a child. Listen to his/her troubles, concerns, fears. This may seem as a big effort for parents but little do we know that we are actually encouraging them to emotionally open up and this will greatly help in child-parent relationship. Take time to let them talk about their fears. Understanding, respecting and guidance is a must to overcome fear of darkness.

2. The fear is real...
Never tease a child or berate him/her for being afraid of the dark. Do not also allow other kids and siblings to do so.

3. Never leave child in the dark without love...
Forcing him/her to face fears in the dark alone in a room may lead to an unhealthy phobia and this will be perceived by the child as a traumatizing experience.

4. Let some light shine on...
Provide special bedroom lamps with stars, sun, clouds, moon, hearts and good fantasy shapes that comes out of it. Give a child his/her own beside flashlight that automatically turns off when left too long. The latter will especially come in handy in case of black-outs.

5. Decorate the child's room with love...
It doesn't have to be expensive. Providing glow in the dark shapes like planets, moon and stars actually makes them feel secured.

6. Leave hugs...
Aside from kissing and hugging a child just right before he/she sleeps, give them cuddly stuffed toys. Stuffed toys provide comfort just the same as really soft blankets and pillows. You may even want to broaden their imagination by leaving a small bedside pouch that "contains" supernatural powers (tiny glittery star dusts inside) to "drive" evil away. This is a good time to make a child realize that there are good things in life to keep them safe.

7. Take time with bedtime stories...
A time a day to tell stories, give cuddles, sing songs / lullabies is best to comfort children. It gives them a sense of being protected from any harm beyond their imaginations.



To sum this all up, the attention, support, guidance and love from grown ups are actually what the children needs to overcome the fear of darkness and this helps in establishing a long-lasting positive relationship with them.

Thanks to Vincent and Izzy Garrucho for the photo.

SEX CAN STILL BE BEAUTIFUL AT 60++

Don't you ever wonder if old people really do have sex and/or still got the drive? I sat staring at my round light in the ceiling for a few moments wondering if they really do.



This thought was brought about when I suddenly remembered a friend's dream of retiring at 60 and traveling the entire Europe on a fully-equipped trailer.

I had a big laughing moment about it because he said his friends thought this is a crazy idea. I thought of it as something great and beautiful that I managed to crack a joke... that he can even have random sex at every single town, city or country he passes by! So, remembering that conversation today, I wondered if people at 60 and ++ really do get the sex drive?

Disclaimer: Please don't throw up by starting to think about wrinkly private parts early this morning. This is a good read for you and well... you never know... you just might remember this article when you reach the golden age.

Recalling my Nursing studies at the University of St. La Salle Bacolod plus reading materials of people's experiences, news, etc., throughout the life of us normal, healthy people, there are ups and downs in our sexual desires. Really! People who are harried, worried or under extreme emotional stress often feel flat or nothing about sex and as we grow older we can still enjoy sex but sometimes the drive is somewhat muted. Various physical factors affect sex drives. There are specialists in the field who can be consulted eventually regarding this. Guidance counselors, sexologists and neurologists have means of assisting those concerned about the problem. At our new age and generation of advance technology, these professionals even have online services about this thus; making it convenient for everyone.

However, I think it is important to note that sex is not the only way to demonstrate love as couples mature. This may often achieve intimacy through other physical contact such as hugging, holding hands or massaging each others' back.

Back in the day, I remember talks that sex is no longer "suitable" for the older age group. I am sure you all have heard poor jokes and negative publicity that were given to "dirty old men" who showed an unseemly interest in copulation.

Today, with advanced studies and of course with the help of medical discoveries, it is understood that the sex drive remains with us almost throughout our lives and is a part of the human makeup at all stages. Nevertheless, there are good physiological reasons why women after menopause may be less turned on than their male partners and it is well that both husbands and wives understand these reasons. Then if there is still a great desire to rejuvenate the fountain of youth, there are experts who can give assistance.

Age need not rule out a satisfying sex life. If I am 60 and I get to talk to Spongebob Squarepants, he will only say one thing... "It's all about IMAGINATION."

Props to Jomi Garrucho for the photo :))