LIFE IN SILENCE

Eight months ago on this very same day of the month (February 20, 2011), I sat on a bench with a Filipina woman who was all quiet at the beginning... staring at the garden view in front of us.  

I remember she had that very sad, blank look in her eyes as she held on a crumpled piece of paper while hugging her dark blue bag. After awhile, I hear her sobbing... then she cried hard. Rocking back and forth, tears continuously flowed down her face as she just stared out blankly... I could again feel her pain...  maybe someone died back home... maybe someone is dying... maybe she is dying... The paper obviously indicated a horrible news to her. I wanted to talk to her... to console her... I felt she needed it yet, I also felt she needed to be alone.

It took awhile for her to stop crying... there were moments she took out her mobile phone several times... attempted to dial but then she would stop. I felt that she wanted to talk to somebody dear to her but held back. It was then I see that she was gathering her strength. 

She was oblivious of any other people around her. Amazingly, no one ever bothered her. She took out a cigarette from her bag and lit it. After a few puffs, she unfolded neatly the crumpled paper... lit her lighter and burned the paper as she again, cried softly. The remnants of the burnt paper fell on the ground as the last part of it continued to burn till she stepped on it.

She sat there mostly crying... clutching her heart and then she would stopped crying... rocking back and forth she would resume to sobbing... then stopped sobbing. For perhaps after 2 hours, she finally stood up... stretched her body in full... breathed the air... picked up her bag and walked away.

Re-visiting today... I sit on this bench... took out my laptop to compose this. I can clearly remember how it was that day. It was a haunting memory... one that lingered in my mind for a long time as I have felt her pain... her burden.

I have to shut this down in a bit as I am an hour away from my appointment and I just caught a splinter... I have to remove it. As I look at the splinter while tapping my fingers on the keyboard, I remember that sad woman... a tear fell from my own eyes... my splinter is nothing in comparison to the splinter she carried in her heart back then.  Realizing that, she taught me a big lesson in life... that we shouldn't dwell on the past or worry about the future for too long no matter how painful nor hard life may be. She taught me in silence that right now is life... we have to face it and live it.

The haunting scene eight months ago at this very day... February 20, 2011... I sat on this bench and I saw a chance at life.

AN ADULT'S SPECTACULAR LIFE

Perhaps, we're not supposed to be happy. Perhaps, gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Perhaps being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is.



Perhaps, we should start appreciating the small victories we get in life... admiring the struggle it takes simply, to be human. Perhaps we should be thankful for the familiar things we know and maybe we should be thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate, isn't it?



At some point in our lives, we need to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence us in. Life can be messy but that's how we're made.

It's either we waste our lives drawing lines or we live our lives crossing them. But then, there are some lines that are way too dangerous for us to cross.



Here's what I know though... If we are just willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular.



Photography by: Vincent Garrucho
Model: Rachel Lobangco
Thank you, Vince and Rachel... for letting me post your fabulous photos here. :))