Thursday, January 20, 2011

FAKING IT...

I had a really good conversation with a male best friend of mine most recently.... all about our past relationships, sexual experiences, the big O and faking it. It was a fun exchange of thoughts, to sum it all up. 

 
That conversation is pure honesty between best friends that I'm led to believe that both of us perceived sex as something to be enjoyed and faking it... breaks a trusting and loving relationship with a partner. After all, faking an orgasm is a form of deception.

I'm not gonna heat things up here unlike in my controversial blog, "The Helicopter Is The Best Choice For..." which you can read later. Right now, you will be reading about sex and orgasms but it won't bore you at all... it will be a little explosive, though... because its the truth. 




Wait... before I tackle any further, let me clarify with you that based on conversations with friends and readings, it is not just women who fake it... Men do too! While women openly talk about faking orgasms as we've read or heard, men have talked quietly about faking orgasms for many years.


  
Women have two common reasons for faking an orgasm... to make their male partners feel better and to end sex when they are tired. These reasons are brought about by the common perception of women that the male partners are not satisfied until they give their female partner an orgasm thus; sex will go on till the women achieves it or fakes it.
 
Men on the other hand, also have two reasons for faking an orgasm... to give the "to get it over with" excuse and to make their female partners believe they enjoyed it. Despite lies about sex or sex myths, men can't always have orgasms whenever they want it that sometimes, faking it is better than dealing with what's actually going on. 

 
Sad, right? Sex is the most enjoyable activity in the world... it is beautiful. I can't really understand why people think about faking orgasms when it is quite easy to be honest about it. Whether we like it or not, faking it is a form of lying to your partner. 

Funny... I've read about people claiming they know when their partners are faking it. Sexual responses like heart rate increase (duh! engaging in sexual activity is bound to pump up your heart), muscle tension (that too) and heavy breathing (who wouldn't be?) are not the basis for faking it because these are all normal responses in us humans and animals alike after every strenuous activity! Am I right?




So can we really tell? We can't just base it on what we see, too. Some people get to be quiet, others get loud and noisy, some moan, some don't, some groans, some don't, some moves a lot and there are some that they tend to be still. I believe... that the only way to know the truth about our partners faking it or not is... by asking with an open mind. If our intent is to catch them in a lie then I don't think we will be able to get some answers. But, if we make it clear that we are honestly and genuinely interested to know, I believe... it could be our best chance at the truth and improve sexual activities with our partners.




I'd like to say once more that sex is the most enjoyable activity in the world and it is... beautiful if you and your partner perceive the same. However, it can get ugly between two people if one or both are lying about achieving orgasms. 

I'm no sex guru nor an expert... I'm just an ordinary girl who speaks her mind. Personally, it is important for me that I really like the person before I get intimate with him. Why? Because at least I don't have to fake it! I'm comfortable with my partner if that's the case and I don't see the point of faking stuff... really! There are means and ways to tell a partner that you'd like to both achieve an orgasm... touching, kissing, licking, exploring, etc. can really push orgasm to the hilt and so does honesty! Speak up... say what's on your mind and say what you want with your partner. In return, he/she will be able to tell you what they want. Cause and effect, ladies and gentlemen... I say no more!

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I dedicate this blog to my best friend... you know who you are ;))

Also dedicate to my beautiful best friends (in the photos with me) that perfectly fits in this particular blog... you guys are the coolest and funniest girls in my life! I love you forever, Angge and Junak ;))


And to Vincent Garrucho... you're the coolest eye behind lenses! Thank you! I know you love it that I included Hans here ha ha ha!!! He fit perfectly!!! :D