CONQUERING A CHILD'S FEAR OF DARKNESS

Children especially the during the toddler days, are afraid of the dark. This is what we grown-ups call as Nyctophobia. This is a normal anxiety on kids that can turn into a wild phobia if not lovingly dealt with by the parent.



As a child grows, the imagination flies as it develops. They start to imagine that there are things behind things...imagining creatures of all sorts lurking and hiding in the dark. This, frights them to the core.

Kids tend to imagine what consists of a mere shadow in the dark... objects that may turn into frightening shapes and sizes that they would perceive as reaching out for them.

We are all afraid of the dark sometime in our lives. With some of us, this fear of darkness persists like when we sleep in strange places... we get anxiety attacks when lights go off.

This issue is perhaps one of the biggest that I've overcome as I was growing up. My yaya, my brothers, my friends used to frighten me with strange creatures in the dark and because I am one with a very imaginative brain, I have been afraid of the dark.



Now a mature adult, I based this blog out of my own experience as a child. So how do we deal with children needing understanding, love and support when bedroom lights are about to be turned off? Here are seven (7) important things that will surely help:

1. Respect a child's thoughts...
Listen to a child. Listen to his/her troubles, concerns, fears. This may seem as a big effort for parents but little do we know that we are actually encouraging them to emotionally open up and this will greatly help in child-parent relationship. Take time to let them talk about their fears. Understanding, respecting and guidance is a must to overcome fear of darkness.

2. The fear is real...
Never tease a child or berate him/her for being afraid of the dark. Do not also allow other kids and siblings to do so.

3. Never leave child in the dark without love...
Forcing him/her to face fears in the dark alone in a room may lead to an unhealthy phobia and this will be perceived by the child as a traumatizing experience.

4. Let some light shine on...
Provide special bedroom lamps with stars, sun, clouds, moon, hearts and good fantasy shapes that comes out of it. Give a child his/her own beside flashlight that automatically turns off when left too long. The latter will especially come in handy in case of black-outs.

5. Decorate the child's room with love...
It doesn't have to be expensive. Providing glow in the dark shapes like planets, moon and stars actually makes them feel secured.

6. Leave hugs...
Aside from kissing and hugging a child just right before he/she sleeps, give them cuddly stuffed toys. Stuffed toys provide comfort just the same as really soft blankets and pillows. You may even want to broaden their imagination by leaving a small bedside pouch that "contains" supernatural powers (tiny glittery star dusts inside) to "drive" evil away. This is a good time to make a child realize that there are good things in life to keep them safe.

7. Take time with bedtime stories...
A time a day to tell stories, give cuddles, sing songs / lullabies is best to comfort children. It gives them a sense of being protected from any harm beyond their imaginations.



To sum this all up, the attention, support, guidance and love from grown ups are actually what the children needs to overcome the fear of darkness and this helps in establishing a long-lasting positive relationship with them.

Thanks to Vincent and Izzy Garrucho for the photo.

SOLITUDE

City life tears me apart once in awhile. I get burned out and I seek... solitude.



There are times when I seclude or isolate myself completely from the world. Failed relationships, bad choices, stress, being so far away from home, circumstances at work, health problems greatly contribute to this and I find myself seeking refuge in nature.

I felt like needing the mental and physical seclusion. Solitude... comes to mind for me to think or rest without being disturbed. Being isolated from distractions make it easier for me to concentrate, reflect, meditate and contemplate about my life. I seek to be alone and although solitude is entirely different from loneliness, solitude for me in this sense, is positive.



Privacy... is a luxury and every time I get the chance to get away from all and be close to nature, is a grand vacation enough. Solitude heals me and so it will with you.

Thanks, Vincent Garrucho and Mark Longos for the photos.
Location: Port St. Michel, Batangas, Philippines

ON WITCHES IN THE PHILIPPINES

I grew up in the Philippines fascinated with stories about witches. I remember my yaya (nanny) would often fright me with various stories about witches so that I'd be a good girl and get myself home before dusk.



In my country, the witch is locally called "aswang". It's also known as "bruha", "mangkukulam", "boroka", "mangalok", "tik-tik", "wak-wak", "wuk-wuk", "manananggal" and so many more depending on which part of the Philippines we are in. I'm used to the word "aswang" though... which refers to it being the one that cast spells, one that shifts into various forms, a monster, a ghoul and a flesh-eating creature.

The flesh-eating version is more common in Philippine folklore. They say that it takes various human forms that may appear as a beautiful woman or an ugly old woman who carries a job...usually as a butcher.



My yaya would tell me stories that the "aswang" is shape-shifter...having the ability to transform from human to animals and to inanimate objects. Yaya said that when darkness sets in, the "aswangs" begin to hunt for their prey and that the prime targets are the sick, the children, the corpses and pregnant women. In Philippine horror movies, they would often show pregnant women as victims. I've watched the "aswang" so many times flying over house roofs and look for holes to peer on and to look for helpless pregnant women. When finding one, the "aswang" extends its tongue into the pregnant woman's womb, draining the fetus of its' blood and eventually killing both the mother and the fetus. The clicking sound it makes... "kikik" .... comes out as it draws blood.



The "aswang" stories are still very much believed all over the Philippines. Although these stories are generally ignored and dismissed as a mere folklore, many still adorn their houses with garlic, salt, ginger and holy water to keep the "aswang" away.

I practically grew up in Negros Occidental having little pieces of garlic safely pinned on hemlines of my clothes. Yes, my yaya firmly believes about "aswangs" that she would really go out of her way to look for me at neighbors' houses when the sun is about to set in.



There were some local news in my province that I remember having surfaced... talking about "aswang stories" in this decade!

August 2003 - A man from Don Salvador Benedicto, Negros Occidental hacked and shot his aunt and cousin because he believed they were "aswangs"... having cast a curse on his wife who died 3 days after child birth the year before.

September 2005 - A husband and wife were hacked to death and decapitated in Sitio Inapugan, Barangay Santol, Binalbagan. Ugh... Binalbagan was my hometown...where I actually grew up as a kid.

My yaya had a personal experience of her getting sick when she crossed paths with an "aswang" on her way to their home. Apparently, the witch disliked my yaya and yaya said she had the "aswang" frequently visiting her at nights while she was burning up with fever. The smell of a pungent insect (I forgot what it was called) was said to come before the aswang would actually announce it's arrival with that same tongue-clicking sound "kikik". That announcement was said to have caused her parents to shut doors and windows and scatter garlic and salt all over the house.



If you ask me If I believe in witches or the "aswangs", I'd say, "I don't know" because seriously, half of me does and half of me doesn't. Maybe it's because I am somehow a witch ha ha ha as my lover told me last year that I bewitched him. Ah well! I hope I won't ever see the day or night encountering a real "aswang" though.

Photos by: Mark Longos, Vincent Garrucho and Aries Alvarez
Location: Port St. Michel (Thanks to Allan Tom)
Model: Xhialey De Guzman
Hair and Make Up: Edz Diomampo
Concept and Style: Jodge Ledesma

SHE IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER...

Halloween is not too far ahead but yesterday, I was already into the spirit. I never really liked horror movies but I would watch them if I'm with friends... definitely, never alone.

I joined my photographer friends in their recent out-of-town fun shoot at Port St. Michel, Batangas, Philippines (thanks to Allan Tom) to help direct and coordinate photography themes and concepts aside from being the stylist for the models. At the end of the day, as photographer Vincent Garrucho sets up his camera and stuff, I decided to play the role. Donning a white dress, went on barefoot and stood right in front of Vincent... beckoning him to take a photo of me as Sadako. Creepy...



Throughout my experience with horror movies, I totally bow down to the Queen of Japanese Horror... Sadako. Watching "The Ring" scared out the wits of most of us. Tried to give a little twist to Vincent's work, I jumped straight for him twice as if Sadako was elevated. Creepy...



I think that Sadako is the best horror villain we are afraid of the most and we actually quite like the most. We just can’t get enough of her, it seems thus; explaining the successful sequels.

Who would ever forget Sadako? My photos as her will never give justice to how the movies actually showed her but it is my pride and glory to have done the role even for just 2 good shots.

Thank you Vincent Garrucho for the wonderful photos. The real Sadako is for sure, proud.

THE WORLD FAMOUS MASSKARA FESTIVAL

This October, I am looking forward to go home to Bacolod City... dubbed the “City of Smiles”, as it celebrates the world-famous MassKara Festival every October of the year.



This year Bacolod City is on its 31st year... the 19-day festival promises to be even more vibrant, colorful and fun-filled.



This city is known for its great food, warm smiles, and happy people. Bacolod City is the capital of Negros Occidental, which is the sugar capital of the Philippines. Bacolod is the biggest and highly urbanized city in the island of Negros, the fourth biggest island in the Philippine archipelago.

Bacolod is the entry point to other sugar-rich cities and towns in the province. (Negros Occidental has 13 cities and 19 municipalities.)



Come to Bacolod where great cuisine is a tradition, as great food comes mostly from family heirloom recipes. Taste the famous chicken inasal (chicken marinated in native spices and herbs and then grilled to perfection), that gave birth to another festival (Manokan Country Inasal Festival launched in May 2009).



Come to Bacolod where her people speak in mellifluous lilting Hiligaynon accent, coupled with captivating sweet smiles breathed from their long-term romance with the sugar industry which, for centuries, have been the lifeblood of her economy.

Bacolod’s charm as a destination is in her half-a-million people exuding legendary hospitality and a trademark smile—from the porters you meet at the airport and seaport terminals, taxi drives, bellboys, receptionists and almost everyone in the streets.



It helps, too, that almost everyone understands and speaks English, often spiced up with a smile by those deficient in the language. This smiling nature of her people has earned for Bacolod the moniker, City of Smiles.

The Bacolenos’ propensity to smile stems from a happy disposition towards life, which gave birth to the 31-year old MassKara Festival.



Bacolod is also known as a city of contrast. Her rural ambiguity lends a certain mystique to her stylish modern urbanity. The Bacoleno is uptrend in his ways, as Bacolod has almost all the conveniences one can look for in a growing metropolis. Visitors can have a choice of modern first-class hotels or other accommodation establishments. Uppity restaurants, coffee shops, and fast-food joints dot the city’s thoroughfares. Malls and big department stores, boutique and souvenir or handicraft shops offer limitless shopping while the market stalls offer amazing bargains.

Aside from being hailed as a “Billionaire City,” Bacolod today can truly bask in the many national awards she got for excellent government practices, which now makes her a favorite of many local government units around the country as a destination for learning experiences or “benchmarking.”



But with all the new urbanization developments, the rustic ambiance is still felt all over. The Bacoleno way is familial, almost laid back even, as everybody seems to know everyone—who is either a relative, a friend, or a nodding acquaintance. Despite the modern way of living, traffic is still manageable. The lush greenery in many parts of the city, and in the public plaza, known to be the shadiest and most pro-active plaza in the country, gives her the rural touch and the award as the Cleanest and Greenest Highly Urbanized City in the Philippines.



This year’s theme, “Kari sa Bacolod” will once again pitch Bacolod’s invitation to the world to come to the City of Smiles and celebrate the goodness of life, through food, music, sights and pageantry.

The festive mood in the City of Smiles becomes contagious as masked dancers line the streets during the three-day street-dancing competition, dancing along with the music from the major streets all the way to the Bacolod public plaza.

Another highlight is the Electric MassKara at the Tourism Strip in Lacson Street where dancers, whose bodies are colorfully lighted, gyrate to the infectious rhythm of festival music.



Started in 2004, the Countdown is a giant street party with live bands as the city keeps vigil for its 72nd year celebration.

72 seconds to midnight of October 18, 2010 or the eve of October 19, 2010 the party counts down and at 12 midnight, city officials lead by Mayor Evelio Leonardia, and the people partying at the New Government Center, sing “Happy Birthday, Bacolod!”

It’s 72 seconds because Bacolod ushers into its 72nd year as a chartered city.

The party at the NGC will be beamed through giant screens at the old City Hall, where there will also be a simultaneous partying. It can be said that the traditional Countdown to Charter Day has brought street parties to Bacolod.



See you guys in Bacolod City, Philippines every October!!!

Thank you Jomi Garrucho for the wonderful photos!!! :)

Info source: themasskarafestival.com

MANILA BAY... MY IMMEDIATE PLACE FOR PEACE

"All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every second." — Henry David Thoreau



Manila City dwellers like me often take time to seek for a place for solitude and renewal and the immediate sanctuary is the Manila Bay with different breathtaking sunrise and sunset views that makes one realize there is hope.



Manila Bay is the place to contemplate about life...



Manila Bay is the place to dissect life and take it in...



Manila Bay is the place to enjoy life in a deeper sense despite hardships and its' cruelties...



Manila Bay is the place to remember those famous "life lessons"...



Manila Bay is the place to think great thoughts or no thoughts at all...



Manila Bay is the place where we appreciate life...



Manila Bay is the place where we gather strength and find hope...



Manila Bay is the place to simply clear the mind and rest next to the soothing waters.



Manila Bay is so much of our nation's history and is one of the finest natural harbor in the world. It's just breath-taking...

Thank you Vincent Garrucho for the photos.

CROSSROADS

There comes a critical point in time where critical choices must be made and that's what I call crossroads.



At some point in our lives, we are all faced with a crossroad of some type or another... The changes in our bodies, the changes in intimate relationships, the terrifying disruptions of our status quo, the daily life-and-death dramas which gives us loss of direction, motivation, enthusiasm and self-esteem. We suddenly have our fears, our griefs, confusions, depressions, and furious rages and suddenly the realization that life is all about the choices we make. We are humans... we make mistakes... we miscalculate.

When we make bad calls, it's not simple and never easy to fix. We get hurt, we bleed, we struggle at every piercing pain and we agonize for such snap judgments made that we knew would haunt us forever. We spend all our lives worrying about future, planning for the future, predicting the future that's always changing despite of it becoming the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. No one knows the future and the future is never the way we imagine it to be. In the end, we face crossroads of our lives... finding the will to escape... and escaping from the situation is about making a choice.



I am currently at a crossroad and again, I have to make a critical choice. After all, when the dam bursts, what am I supposed to do? Swim, right?

I'm taking a deep breathe right now like it is my last then I'm heading to tread waters again to stay alive. Some things in life just have to be learned the hard way and evading them is counter-productive and eventually destructive. The only way to get through them is to actually go through them.

Thanks, Vincent for the perfect images for this blog.